Think Big by Thinking Local

Kingston, like Canada, has everything it needs to be successful in her own right. For too long the city and the country have mined raw resources, shipped them off, and then bought back the assembled goods. We have to stop doing that to ourselves! Local production - and indeed local people are just as good as any we could import. It benefits not only the community but also the environment when local economies are favoured over cross-border trade.

Let's assess:

Kingston needs to become less reliant on government jobs. Why? Because they are largely out of our control. They cut back, they move, and they are subject to political whims. We need to stop looking at the lowest possible form of job-creation - call centers - as a solution. Why? Because these jobs necessarily seek out markets with high unemployment as a way of keeping costs low. When our people demand too much call center companies will simply cut and run for the next city offering up their desperate unemployment rate.

Kingston needs to create diverse products, services and events within the city. Why? In order to stop our citizens from traveling to other centers for the variety that we refuse to provide. When they leave, they take their money with them. We need to grow our local business interrelationships, create incentives to buy local, and incubate new ventures that are based in and around our downtown. Why? To ready ourselves for the shift to more local markets in the wake of increased fuel costs and to invest in a community that is more or less self-sustaining in terms of food, energy, goods, services, technology, education and healthcare.

What can we build on? Well... what have we got?

We've got history, talent, education, location, water, creativity, an established downtown, and farmland. We've got an economic development agency set up and ready to help. We've got motivated citizens who take an active interest in their community and the environment. We've got venture capitalists interested in seeing our economy grow. We've got vacant buildings and lots. We have a new-technology network, bio-tech, and green-energy companies already making their marks.

One thing is certain: what we've done up until now isn't working very well. We must venture in a new direction that doesn't involve wooing higher levels of government and aims higher than call center 'prosperity.' What stops us from trying? Maybe we are in a sort-of once bitten twice shy situation.

Kingston has had her share of really bad luck. Even our nickname, "the Limestone City" springs from disaster- a fire in 1840 that levelled the downtown resulted in panicked law-makers banning the use of wood in construction. Hence, our abundant Limestone buildings were erected. We coulda been a contenda in shipping - and we were, briefly. The Rideau Canal was outdated almost as soon as it was completed, and Kingston missed the mark with the Kingston-Pembroke railway, which it built to keep up with the Joneses. We didn't industrialize with the vigour of competing cities and therefore didn't benefit from immigration they way Toronto, Montreal and Ottawa did. We've tried taking big chances and we've tried to resist them. Neither paid off.

What to do, what to do?

Some would have you believe that nothing needs to change. They have their jobs and their homes and they watch the hockey. Nothing wrong with that. Too many young people, economically disadvantaged people and newcomers, however, can't catch a break. They have no voice here. They are invisible, but for when those others must step around them in the streets of downtown. For those on the outside - those living north of Princess, attending Queen's, or apartment hunting for the first time here - things do need to change. Drastically.

I believe in the creativity, generosity and energy of people. I believe that given the right conditions, every one of us can - and wants to - shine. What would it take right here in Kingston to see more shiny people? I believe that the solution lies in bringing people together and fostering small ventures - connecting the dots between the wishes in someone's head and the ways to make them realities. By doing this we will encourage economic self-reliance in individuals and for the City itself.

Small business incubators encourage individuals with vision to take the chance on their dreams. They give new graduates a running start in pursuing their plans and they provide a reason for out-of-town entrepreneurs to locate here. Arts districts draw tourists, give locals a place to go and support creativity in the community. Local farming markets that include a much broader range of products than is already in the Clarence Street market could be set up to run almost year-round. Alternative energy incentives for homes and businesses have a fourfold benefit: they promote our city's autonomy, they are better for our environment, they save citizens/businesses money which can be put into other sectors of the economy, and they encourage the development of this rapidly expanding industry - Kingston could for once realize its dream of being at the forefront of a movement!

The solution, in short, is not to think about ONE BIG DEAL, but lots of little ones. History has taught us to be ready for vast changes in the way economies run. It could be that the next big shift is away from wide-markets and onto smaller, localized ones. In either case, boosting our local productivity can not have a negative effect.

This is my vision for Kingston. Interconnectedness, prosperity, and creativity.
It's doable.

Like Cats and Dogs

Ahhhhhh, bureaucracy! It's gotten the better of many a good person and this time it's taking down the Kingston Humane Society. In all seriousness I should not use that term, "taking down." I'm sure they'll recover. After all, life is going to go on.. poop happens, right? Yes it does - it happens even if the right paperwork hasn't been handed in, or the rules of the Board of Directors aren't followed.. poop still happens.

To me, the debacle at the Kingston Humane Society is a perfect little picture to communicate to all how utterly ridiculous some rules of business are. Here we have a relatively simply operation: take in strays and abandoned cats and dogs, keep a vet on staff to make sure the animals are healthy (and put them down when needed,) schedule staff, approve some volunteers, do the books, and hold fundraisers to get extra cash.

So what went wrong? In a word: people. Personalities, power-trips, priorities... without having been involved it's difficult for any of us to know which lethal combination of human chemistry led to the implosion. Reading about it in the paper almost feels like voyeurism so personal is the story. It's clear that the business side of the shelter has taken a back-seat to the personalities that populate it.

One wonders how many other organizations are simmering, simmering... just waiting for that final ingredient that will make them boil over. I can tell you from my experience that this dysfunctional stew exists everywhere I've been employed. Indeed, everywhere I've volunteered, too.

All workplaces need to be pro-active in dealing with the power-struggles that plague them. Office politics is so draining it is often the only aspect of work that employees and managers take home with them after hours; but what can be done?

I leave you to ponder. It's an emormous question without easy answers, but I think it is vital that the dialogue begin.

Milliken and again and again...

Why did Kingston elect Peter Miliken again? According to some odd new reasearch, it
s because Kingstonians are creatures of habit. Perhaps it isn't the research that's odd, but the analysis. Seems to me that if - as the reaserach posits - an electoral district swings by more than 66% in voter turn-out that you've got a less than habitual result on your hands.

Supposedly the voter turnout numbers in the "Student Housing" area surrounding Queen's increased from 370 in 2004 to 1,012 in 2006. And the intrepid Kingston Whig-Standard attributes this increase to the timing of the election, stating that "in 2004, the election took place after the school year was over, meaning that many of out-of-town students had returned home..." And we're supposed to believe that these same students all voted for Peter Milliken while here, huh? I'm not saying they didn't, for I haven't got any scientific way of proving that. But... you'll notice, dear, that I'm also not claiming that these same people voted FOR Milliken.. since there is no data to back that up, either. Seems to me that another reporter did make that unsubstantiated claim...

Students, in the throes of their idealism might indeed be more inclined to vote than your average citizen. Being that students usually have a component of liberal arts in their education they may be more inclined to vote in an anti-conservative manner. But does this mean that these votes would have gone to Milliken just because he wasn't a conservative? I don't think you could count on it.

Students are anti-establishment, too, if I may elaborate on the preconceptions put forth in the above paragraph (which were relied upon, I believe in the Whig article) and this being the case, they would naturally vote against the status quo, ergo against Milliken. My immediate hypothesis is that more votes would have been tossed towards Hutchinson (NDP) or for fringe candidates than for stodgey old Pete.

Who knows?

What I'd like to impress here today is that newspaper reports that analyse data are usually biased in favour of whoever pays the bill for the ink. Remember that whenever you read anything in any print publication. Remember when you watch television that the advertisers are the Gods of information. Remember that magazine truth is bought and paid for before it hits the newsstands, and possibly even before it even happens.

This is a crazy world we live in, folks, even here in Kingston. Don't believe everything you read. And do NOT ever base your vote on who you think Sydenham Ward is voting for.

outie.

P.S - i'd like to apologize to anyone who read this entry before I had time to edit it. Gosh golly there were a lot of mistakes in it. Probably still are a couple - no one can do a great job of self-editing. But - I've fixed what I saw, and had intended to do so before publishing.. but software beign what it is, I didn't get the chance. (rassa-frackin-mumber-jumber) :) outie again.

LVEC Projects Elsewhere in North America

To continue getting real about the Large Venue Entertainment Center and it's potential for Kingston, let's look at some of the things that have happened in other North American cities:

In Niagara Falls, New York the public-private partnership between Seneca Gaming Corp, the City and the school board to build a similar venue to the one proposed here, decided against the idea:

"A proposed collaboration between the school district, the city and the
Seneca Gaming Corp. to build a state-of-the-art arena has fallen through.“The
numbers just didn’t work out,” School Superintendent Carmen Granto said
Thursday.

“Everyone was friendly and tried to make it work, but we all agreed it
wasn’t going to happen.”A feasibility study was conducted last year to determine
what impact an arena seating 5,000 to 7,000 people would have financially.
Granto said the study came back estimating the facility would operate at a loss
of $300,000 to $500,000 a year." - from the Niagara Gazette, Mar 3, 2006

Niagara Falls, NY has a population of 55,000 with an overall county population of 219, 000. It is located strategically between 3 major cities: Chicago, Buffalo and Indianapolis. It is also in close proximity to the Canada-U.S border. The city's economy is made up largely of services (31.4%), Retail and Wholesale Trade (22.9%) and government (17%) and manufacturing (14%). Sound like any city you know? The spokesman for Seneca Gaming had this to say about the failed arena plan in that city:

"We know full well most arenas usually end up losing money because you
can’t have an event there every day,” Pantano said. “We were OK with that
because we know it’s important to build up the surrounding area and an arena
might help drive added traffic into Niagara Falls.”

The LVEC might drive more traffic into downtown Kingston, too. The deal fell through mostly because a counted-on grant didn't come through as expected and the private partner would have been on the hook for more than it originally believed. In Kingston's case, where would the extra money come from if one of our grants falls through?

It turns out that Louisville, Kentucky is going through a very similar drama as Kingston with respect to its mayor's arena plan. Granted, they are looking to build a 22,000 seater - but the taxpayer's concerns are the same. The dispute the location and the cost v benefit scenario. "And the $75 million in taxpayer dollars that Fletcher wants to fund construction of the project may just be the tip of the funding iceberg, too. Unsuccessful arenas often require government officials to tack on even higher local taxes on restaurant meals, hotel rooms and rental cars to keep stadiums above water. " (source: The Bluegrass Institute). Their fight continues.

Nanaimo's debate on whether or not to build a multi-purpose facility went to a referendum in 2002. The "yes" votes won by a slim margin. The new Nanaimo Center is being built. Keep in mind that the referendum vote was in 2002 and then consider that a March 13, 2006 report on the progress of the build states that "Construction of Foundations is currently anticipated to begin in early summer." They have also run into some unanticipated funding problems "due to the nature of the Provincial-public-private partnership laws, the project simply cannot be built in 2006 with an expenditure cap of 52.5 million."

Des Moines, Iowa, population 198,000 opened 17,000 seat Wells Fargo Arena in 2005 with a local hockey team, the Iowa Stars, as its main tenant. The Arena has 1-2 concert events booked in each of the upcoming 3 months, with very few trade shows and family shows scheduled. To give you an idea of the impact this rate of success has had on the city - check the facts: in 2002 the Unemployment rate for Des Moines was 3.5%. As of January, 2006 that rate had risen to 4.4%.

Charlotte, North Carolina opened 20,000 seat Bobcat Arena in October of 2005. the city has a population of almost 600,000 and is home to NBA’s Charlotte Bobcats, the WNBA's Charlotte Sting and the ECHL’s Charlotte Checkers. It's shows for 2005 and into 2006 include Elton John, Dolly Parton, Disney on Ice, U2, Bon Jovi and oddly, Manheim Steamroller. (?) Charlotte's unemployment rate in 2000 was 3.3% - in December 2005 it was at 5.1%.

Our concept of a Large Venue Entertainment Center isn't really all that ... well ... large, is it?
Aside from our regular hockey games, what types of events will the LVEC likely attract?Compare the types of acts at Bobcat Arena with the acts attracted by 4,000 - 6,000 seat arenas, and for simplicity's sake, we'll leave out all non pro hockey-related bookings:

• Kamloops' "Interior Savings Center": 3 dates booked: Tanya Tucker, Beach Boys, Harlem Globetrotters.
• Peterborough Memorial Center: 5 dates booked: Faye's Bridal Show; Home Hardware Trade Show; Jann Arden; Home and Outdoor Show and Willie Nelson.
• Boston's Bank of America Pavillion: 10 dates booked up to the end of August: Sigur Ross, Dreyfus Presents Willie Nelson, Govt Mule with Michael Franti and Spearhead, The New Cars NEW TOUR 2006 with Blondie, Etta James with Susan Tedeschi, Souls Alike Summer Tour with Bonnie Rait and Special Guest Keb 'mo, Steve Miller, Gypsy Kings, and the Ian Anderson Orchestra.

Some of these are good, some might be great, and some are likely less than marketable in Kingston - especially considering that for whatever reason, the city is asserting that the facility would be used more often in winterthan in summer, and most of the dates booked in the above list are summer dates. Would performers even tour much in the winter?

There is much more to be researched. Let me assure you that this is a tedious task. It is difficult to unearth data on this subject, even though, as one digs, it becomes apparent that the downtown multiplex idea is one on which many cities are pinning - or have pinned - their hopes.

I will return when I get up the heart to read endless arena data again. For now, yo've got enough to chew on.

Large Venue Entertainment Center. If You Build it... what then?

All right. Let's get it out there.


Let's get real about the Large Venue Entertainment Center.


First, some facts. The proposed LVEC would:

• Seat 5,000 people
• Be located downtown in order to stimulate businesses located within a 10-minute walf of the facility
• Have no on-site parking
• Host events mostly in the fall and winter months
• Generate $20 million per year.
• Cost $37 million to build
• Use energy efficient technologies
• Rely on current infrastructure - sewer, water, roads, etc.

Now, some hopes: The proposed LVEC would:

• Be built on time
• Not see cost overruns
• Attract new business
• Attract and retain a skilled workforce
• Make money

And finally, some most likely scenarios: The LVEC will:

• Take far longer to build than originally thought because of the inevitable "we never thought of that" incidents
• Be more costly than originally planned because of previously unforseen circumstances
• Be used just as often in the summer as the winter, which may or may not be very often
• Increase traffic and create parking hassles for regular downtown shoppers/dwellers.
• Provide a handful of people with well-paid positions, and a larger number of people with service-industry wages and security.
• Not be large enough for big-name acts
• Be protested against by older downtown inhabitants, who have historically complained about every event the City hosts - often with much success.

There are many other variables, I am sure, that I haven't even thought of. One good point made by former mayor Helen Cooper, is that the facility will put a strain on our infrastructure while at the same time suckin up money from the reserve fund put in place for infrastructure emergencies. Cooper and another former mayor, Gary Bennet, have both voiced their concerns over the new council's willingness to raid our reserve fund for this project. Neither of them support such a move.

Council is excited about their new project, that is clear from the FAQ on the LVEC on the city's web site. "What types of exciting events will be hosted at the LVEC?" one supposedly 'frequently asked question' ponders. While the answer lists gardening and dog shows as well as concerts and arts events, the obvious mission of the LVEC is to bring more hockey to town. If you look at the FAQ What are the risks to the community if an LVEC is not built?" the answer is telling:

1. "Kingston does not have an appropriate venue for large concerts, trade shows and
   exhibitions. Kingston is competing with other communities on a daily basis to
   maintain and attract a skilled workforce, new business and to maintain a high
   quality of life for its residents.
   Several of Kingston's municipal competitors in Ontario pride themselves on successful sports and entertainment facilities. These communities enjoy the economic benefits that an LVEC provides and they proudly showcase and promote their facilities to the world.
   Without a modern sports and entertainment centre not only is Kingston missing out on the economic benefits of being home to a Major Junior A Ontario Hockey League franchise, a major source of entertainment and community pride. Kingston is also at risk of losing the francise because:
   First, the League no longer allows a franchise to play in a building with less than 4,000 seats, as franchises in smaller facilities are no longer financially viable.
   Second, Kingston needs a facility which will attract the best players and player personnel. The low attendance numbers and the outdated facility make Kingston an undesirable place to watch and play hockey. "

So the risks are that we wouldn't attract the best hockey players and player personnel? Is that really a "risk?" Is trying to avoid the apparent fallout of that risk worth $37 million dollars?

The last point I'm going to touch on today, before going off to nurse this flu, is this myth of job creation and the LVEC. Let's think about it rationally.

It is safe to assume that not many "quality jobs" will be found in the LVEC itself. A few managerial jobs (which are likely already promised to someone or will be hired from out of town) might be good. Perhaps there will be unionized cleaning staff, which is nothing to sneeze at. However, the rest of the jobs wil be non-secure, part-time and low wage. Counterpersons, snack servers, ticket sellers - the usual arena stuff. Obviously the job creation that is spoken of (but not on the City's FAQ page, you'll notice) must be in regards to new, quality employers that will come here after they see that there's a spanking new OHL venue - right downtown!!!

What employers might these be, and won't they need infrastructure, too? The FAQ page states that building the LVEC in the burbs or out by the 401 would be more costly since there aren't the necessary sewage, power and water lines there. So - any potential new employer would face the same conundrum. And what of our doctor shortage? Will the LVEC help recruit doctors or change the legislation that currently prevents Kingston from having any more on the provincial payroll? Healthcare is part of infrastructure - as is public transportation, which right now is costly and quite inconvenient. Snow removal and garbage disposal are also major considerations. Kingston doesn't do a good job of either of these - especially not for commercial properties. (They have just discontinued all garbage pick-up for non-residential properties outside of the downtown core.) In addition, there are no public beaches here, the campground is gone and the amusement park also packed up its bags and left. Our parks are mostly just lovely swathes of grass, not swim-friendly, family-friendly, dog-friendly, skating or skiing friendly, or fishing-friendly recreational destinations. All of these issues go directly to quality of life.

The previous paragraph names some of the many considerations that business owners would examine before locating here, and the ways in which Kingston falls short. It is doubtful that a new medium venue entertainment center would entice them to forget about the lack of doctors and the lack of natural gas pipe lines to the 401. The LVEC certainly wouldn't help us fix any of those problems. In fact, the price tag and scope of the project would likely rob money and attention from them leaving them to degrade further.

If I were mayor, I'd run the city like I run my household. I badly want a flat screen tv - the kind you hang right on the wall.. you know the kind? I love them, and I'm not into gadgets, normally, but they are so neat and tidy and tempting. Am I planning to buy one? No. Why not? Because I need windows, darn it, and money only goes so far. Kingston Council, buy the windows first.

Snow and Lawn Removal - Kingston Style

Just look at the picture, it really needs no explanation. Hint to plow drivers: If your moronic bosses send you out when there's no snow, just tool around with your blades UP! I can begrudgingly accept the fact that snow-plows, by their very nature, leave mountains of snow at the feet of driveways in the course of snow-removal. But the new fangled dirt-banks? They have got to stop.

I've finally been incensed enough to capture on film what goes on at the hands of the snow-plow drivers on my property. As you can see, they either don't care or don't know where the road ends, and they plow up a good three feet of my lawn, depositing its earthy underbelly across the width of my driveway. This is the fourth time this year. I can kind of understand, since this is one of the most neglected streets in the city. It's barely even a street at this point - more like a dried out creek-bed with some clumps of asphalt on it. Regardless, this is just unacceptable.

Given that the amount of snowfall on this day was somewhere in the two millimeter range, I'm not sure why they even sent the plows out. God knows they didn't see fit to send them earlier this year when there was more than a foot on that same little street. The powers that be have also neglected to pick up our recycling five times in 2006. I call them every time, and every time they send out a phantom truck (I never actually see them arrive) to pick it up later that day or the next.

What the hell do we pay property taxes for again?

Hey, Queen's, Is That a Hockey Stick in Your Pocket.. or...

Queen's University has a problem that they hope the City of Kingston will help them fix. It seems that the university's plans to build its new sports complex involve tearing down aging Jock Harty Arena... a plan which leaves the Hockey teams arena-less in the interim. Queen's is asking City Council to do them a solid by letting them lease the memorial center for their practices.

Veeeerrrrrrryyyy interesting.

I remember back a long, long time ago in I think it was January of this year when the City of Kingston got it's answer from the University Administration on whether or not Queen's was going to reimburse the police department for the extra expenses it incurred on Homecoming Weekend. It was no trivial amount, either. The police claim it cost them $119,000 to police Homecoming, but they weren't trying to recover the whole amount. What they asked for was $84,000 - mostly in light of the near-riot that enveloped two streets in the student ghetto. A car was overturned and lit on fire and police were assaulted. You'd think Queen's, with its massive annual funding and alumni contributions would have ponied up. But no. The answer, which stunned me, was sorta like what I'd expect Donald Rumsfeld to say.

“We have given [the police’s] request serious consideration and have determined that it would not be appropriate for Queen’s to provide compensation for policing related to off-campus street parties--ones which have been neither sanctioned nor encouraged by Queen’s,”

Even though the language is Rumsfeldian, the quote actually comes from Vice-Principal Patrick Deane in a letter to Kingston Police Ins. Brian Cookman.

What a champ that Deane fella is, huh? Makes you long to be back in the bosom of an instituion of higher-learning. But I digress...

If I were on city council, now would be the time I'd get back my $84,000. I have no idea what the actual expenses would be but I can bet I'd find a way to jack them up just that much. It's like .. the exact opposite of "You scratch my back I'll scratch yours," and it's only fair. After all, it wouldn't be appropriate for the city to allow university hockey players to play on ice that belongs to the taxpayers -- players that have been neither sanctioned nor, really, encouraged by the city -- without compensating them in some way. In 84,000 ways, to be exact.

Poor Darlings Out on Strike

Excuse me while I puke into your flaming garbage can, but don't you make 85 or 90 thousand dollars a year????? Try making $10.00 an hour. Try getting laid-off from the job you thought was secure. Try living on welfare. Try working shifts. Try getting your frickin' hands dirty you greedy sons-of-bitches.

These strikers piss me off. The union representing college professors has decided it wants its workers to have more money. I say that the union has decided because I highly doubt that every member in said union actually wants to strike. If I were in that union I'd be tomato-red ashamed of it. Imagine, barely 5 days after Kingston's major private sector employer, Bell Canada, closes its doors leaving more than 250 people with NO income, having your union declare that you cannot possibly continue to get by on a mere $50 or $60 bucks an hour.

Sure, sure. The profs involved also claim they want smaller class sizes. That's always good for a little public sympathy. The trouble is we're not talking about 8 year olds who need individual encouragement here, we're talking about grown-ass adults who have forked over their hard-earned money to get an education. They don't need hand-holding, or intimate settings. They need you to show up and give your damned lecture. Besides, the students are the clients here - not the professors. The students will vote with their dollars if class sizes are too large. This whining about class sizes is plain wrong-headed. So much so that it defies the logic that is (hopefully) taught in Intro To Business by some of these very instructors. Correct me if I'm wrong here but it seems like the professors want more money in AND fewer clients.

It's everyone's dream, really, and I'm sure in Advanced Business Skills students are taught how to leverage up their earnings without doing any more actual work.. but the ugly truth is that if profs were to get real with their demands, their picket signs would look like this:
"Raise Tuition NOW!!"
But those wouldn't get a lot of honks from passers-by.

In this city, where the educated (I happen to have a diploma from the very institution whose union members are currently blocking the entrances) can't get jobs worth more than a couple thou a month before taxes if they're lucky, it is offensive in the utmost to have these beggars carry picket signs.

Chant it up, ingrates. I'd GLADLY cross your line to scab for the college and finally make use of the degree I earned after leaving your hallowed halls. (yes, I also have one of those). I'd teach for half what you are asking for. Keep that in mind, picketers. If we could, there are thousands of us out here who'd jump at your job for much less money than you are demanding. And don't try to pretend your intentions are noble.

Smaller class sizes my ass. Bigger paycheques is what you're after. Sleep well at night knowing you're essentially robbing from the poor to feed your greed.

Dial-up-yours!

So the three year old, $7 million facility that Bell Canada called its home in Kingston has shut its doors, forcing 260-odd workers to place their lives "on hold." My best friend worked there - had just gotten a sweet promotion, actually, and two weeks ago was happy as a clam, ready to reward herself with an Austin Mini Cooper, the vehicle she has dreamed of owning since forever. Yesterday at noon, however, the company declared her surplus. Bye-Bye mini. Please call again.

Compounding this awful news is the fact that an already snug Kingston job market has just become that much tighter. If Kingston's waist size is 32 it's trying to fit into a 28 pant. Not pretty. Of the jobs that are available, almost none pay what Bell was paying - between $17 and $20 an hour. Today's offerings are scant: Weston's Bakery wants people who are available 7 days a week for any shift in the 24-hour clock and they are offering the whopping compensation of $10/hour. There are plenty of jobs in the paper that will pay you "UNLIMITED INCOME!!!" assembling products or surfing the web. If that were true, wuold they really have to advertise for workers week after week?

The truth is folks that unless you have a relative in a government-employee union or you belong to the same Bilderberger-type fraternity as the President of the University you might as well sign up for the military or get out your burger-flipping apron. There ain't no jobs save for those that go to us temps - us lowly, lowly temps.

Press "1" to default on your mortgage or "2" to sell a kidney.

Healthy Dinners

Let's get something straight: I hate cooking dinner. I dislike thinking about what to have for dinner. I can't stand going to the grocery store and trying to remember all the ingredients for any one dish all at once. "You could use a list!" I hear you saying... yeah well ... I try. I write'em and forget'em. That's my style. If left to my own devices I'd likely eat crackers and cheese at every meal until someone from Public Health intervened.

And look out! Public Health just might. When you click on the link check out the second entry on the page. "Basic Shelf" is an egregious waste of taxpayer dollars and a nice kick in the face to people on public assistance, to boot!

I am astounded at the content of this program that purports to "teach participants to prepare low-cost, nurtritious meals" by showing them sample grocery lists and explaining how to use a recipe. (I kid you not.. little arrows point to each recipe segment, and give explanations like: "The header is the name of the dish," and "The serving number indicates how many servings the recipe will make.") There are also two full pages of handwashing instructions because, you know, people on welfare are such dirty pigs.

Chock-a-block with full-colour, glossy clip-art tomatoes, this package tells participants everything from how to chill leftovers to how to deal with the fact that sometimes you just can't go out for dinner even though you might really feel like it. How life-altering!

I couldn't help but laugh when I saw the opening instruction in the Training Manual that will be given to future teachers of this Grocery Seminar. It said:
You should start out by telling the students that you know they are likely under some stress right now. You understand that they might be having issues with their landlord or with money or their children. Although you can't help them with any of those things, at least they won't have to be stressed about food anymore.
It's just so... cheesy.
Pass the saltines.